The Power of Perception

The way in which we regard, understand and interpret something, a situation or someone in our lives is how we create an image and a perception in our minds. Naturally, we have perceptions of the people around us, these develop from our analysis of them as a person; their physical appearance, their body language, how they communicate, how they react to situations etcetera, and the more we get involved and get to know these people, the more our perception can grow. We receive new information about the people around us daily, with an image of them that can sometimes alter and make your view of them different whether its positive or negative. However, the power of perception can be damaging for the mind when you believe something about someone that turns out to be false or different.

You have an idea in your head of how your family and friends are as people, we tell ourselves ‘oh, they wouldn’t do that’ or ‘they wouldn’t have a problem with that’ and when they do you are surprised and left disappointed. You’ve spent all this time thinking your perception of them was correct, however this doesn’t make it the truth, and this is how you become upset when someone doesn’t live up to what you believed they were.

Arguments or disagreements with people in your life are a great example of the power of perception working in full effect. Arguments come from a place of two people perceiving a situation or each other differently. Say if you confront a friend about how they acted in particular situation that you didn’t agree with, you are doing this because your perception of them wasn’t true in this particular situation – they  disagree and become annoyed by your confrontation, they don’t understand how you have developed this view – you explain your reasons why, they explain their opposing reasons, and still they don’t understand your thoughts – they become hurt and offended and now question their perception of you – the confrontation turns into an argument and ultimately negative feelings are felt about each other.

Your perception of each other has been damaged and so has the friendship, we spend a lot of our time explaining ourselves, justifying our actions and we constantly try and change people’s perceptions of us but still they don't, which is understandable, they have their idea of what happened, and you have yours, ultimately they have their story and you have your story. We experience mental turmoil when someone doesn’t understand us even after we’ve explained our point of view, but how can we expect complete understanding when someone’s story is always going to be different to our own. Perhaps if we were them we would understand their story but were not and that’s why we should never focus and give too much energy to thinking about why and how people perceive us.

You’ll drive yourself insane constantly attempting to understand and change people’s perceptions, views and ideas of you. Clinging to a negative perception of you is your own stupidity. Know who you are and you won’t feel the need to prove yourself.

The Makeup Era

Google states that makeup is used to enhance or alter the appearance - cosmetic products range from the simple stuff such as lipstick, mascara, eyeliner to matte and dewy foundations, concealer, contour, highlights and eyeshadows, a form of art used by females and even males now as a creative way of expressing their identity. The history of makeup began with the Egyptians who applied dark eye makeup called mesdement, blush and lipstick formed from animal fat, with the intention of pleasing the gods. In the Victorian era, makeup was especially used by wealthy white women like white powder and pink blush cosmetics to make themselves look paler but flushed, which they felt made them look more beautiful and attractive to men. Makeup trends today in the 21^st century include ‘fleeky’ eyebrows, blended contour and ‘popping’ highlighter – social media like YouTube and Instagram have become huge platforms for aspiring beauty guru’s and influencers to showcase their artistry skills in makeup with their subscribers and followers. Young females now aspire to become successful beauty influencers where they are paid excessive amounts of money to try out new makeup products and share their reviews.

Though makeup is designated “you” time, fun and playful, perhaps the large percentage of females that wear makeup use it because they feel obliged to conform to society’s expectations of how a woman should construct their appearance - they should look presentable and attractive at all times, especially for the male gaze. Makeup has become a daily ritual for the majority of women, applying cosmetics before the start of their day has become a social expectation of a female. Current expectations of women in terms of their physical appearance surely strike feelings of insecurity in a lot of females, they may have skin blemishes or simply not like the way they look because beauty magazines and social media are always insisting that we can and should want to look better, how we are isn’t pretty enough, and this results in females using makeup as more of a complete alteration of their appearance for the pleasure of society rather than something for enhancement and a boost of their confidence.

For me, I started wearing makeup from about 14 years old because I wasn’t happy with the look of my skin, my early teenage years consisted of acne that would improve and then worsen throughout my years of school – foundation was a way for me to cover up these issues and feel confident while completing my studies. Then it got to a stage where I was only ever confident with my foundation on, short trips to the shops couldn’t be done without it, even looking in the mirror naked faced became difficult because I simply didn’t like the look of myself. Although, time, skin care and the ability to love myself more has massively improved my skin to the point where I am comfortable and prefer no makeup days. This is why I believe that makeup comes from a place of insecurity, before coming from a place of expression - that comes afterwards.

Love Island: Black contestants experience exclusion and rejection

Love Island, 2018's hottest and most popular summer reality TV show, includes good- looking singles entering a villa in Majorca, Spain in search of love, romance and a £50,000 prize as a result of becoming the British publics most loved couple. Love Island's overwhelming success after its 4th series winners Dani Dyer and Jack Fincham who had a grip over the audience’s hearts since the beginning of their budding romance, has opened doors for the couple. Both gaining over one million followers on Instagram has enabled countless opportunities for them to make quick and easy money like; appearing at clubs/events, promoting clothing lines, having interviews and being on magazine covers and talk shows. It is evident that Love Island's booming popularity suggests that even contestants that don't win have equal opportunities once leaving the villa, due to a following on social media that all contestants gain recognition from. Besides this, cons about the reality show raise awareness on the social issue of ethnic minorities, and whether black contestants experience exclusion compared to the majority white contestants.

The show unites males and females from across the UK with different personalities and appearances – creating options and a likelihood of finding love for the singles. Although, it is apparent that across the past two series of Love Island variety isn’t exactly what they offer in terms of ‘types’ and ‘preferences.’ Black females and males tend to experience exclusion, perhaps without even realising – women who are white, slim and blonde and men who are dark, tall and handsome have often occurred as the contestant’s general idea of a partner. Though the show includes one or a couple of black people every series, it is questionable that perhaps they are used as tokenism in order to give the appearance that the show is diverse, when in fact black contestants are ‘unlucky’ in love and subjected to rejection.

Evidently, Samira Mighty in Love Island’s most recent series had great difficulty finding a partner she was interested in and vice versa. The black contestant was invited on a couple of dates but was never preferred over the white female contestants, she was often labelled by the males as “just a friend” or just not my “usual type.” As well as this, once Samira did find romance in later weeks with Frankie Foster – she experienced rejection when Frankie in episode 23 stated about Megan Barton-Hanson, a glamour model that “I definitely like her… she’s a good looking girl”, after Samira expressed her attraction and liking towards him, which then resulted in her breakdown and feeling of insecurity in comparison to Megan who is blonde haired and blue eyed and preferred by many of the male contestants. Samira’s trouble to find romance in difference to the other girls, does make you wonder as the audience if her black ethnicity; darker skin and darker hair had an impact on her wait for someone who genuinely liked her. To illuminate this idea, Marcel Somerville from series 3, experienced immediate rejection in episode 1 when none of the girls took an initial attraction towards him during the first coupling. Perhaps this is because of the lack of female contestants selected for the show that prefer black men.

Through 2018’s series of Love Island, two bi- racial couples came from the show – Samira and Frankie who developed into a relationship once exiting the villa and Wes Nelson and Megan who made it to the final and came 4^th place. I do wonder if this is a true reflection of diversity? Black relationships are practically non-existent in the reality show with a ‘type’ that doesn’t include black males and females who are interested in each other. Love Island seems to exclude black relationships, making it unlikely that a black couple could ever win the show.